Whether you work on the front lines, in management or behind the scenes, much of your success is predicated on your use of language. "Control the language, and you control the relationship," or so the saying goes.

We've all been in situations in which we wish we had a better response. You may have worked with a customer for whom the right words might have clinched the deal. Or maybe a verbal exchange with management would have gone differently had you been better able to communicate your true feelings or persuasively present an idea.

Well, if you've ever searched for the right words or phrases to be more effective, search no more. Here they are: The Greatest. Phrases. Ever.

• "Unforeseen problems ..."
  
  Problems arise. Whether it is during the purchase of a motorcycle or the repair of one, stuff happens. When breaking this news to a customer, it's important to do so quickly and to the point. 
  
  "Mr. Hartfiel, we've had some unforeseen problems with your moped repair. As we looked deeper into the engine, we discovered significantly more damage than we originally thought."

This phrase very nicely explains that no one is clairvoyant and that this was something that couldn't possible be known until the engine was disassembled. It also helps prevent the possible rant, "Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?!"

• "Unreasonable demands ..."
  
  When I worked in a dealership, I had a customer whose motorcycle experienced intermittent electrical problems — a real nightmare. You and I both know that sometimes such repairs take time to work out, and this person's motorcycle was in the repair facility for a few weeks.
  
  During that time, he would come in every other day to clean and check on his motorcycle. He would closely inspect every inch to ensure there were no new dents or dings. On his second trip to the store, he insisted that his ride be kept no closer than three feet to any other machine, he wanted us to clean the bike daily, and he wanted us to repair and deliver it for free because he was such a good customer.
  
  I got exasperated. Every time this guy called or showed up in the store, my blood pressure jumped, and he and I both became agitated with each other. My frustration was a result of not knowing how to combat, or rebut, his demands. 
  
  Sensing my struggle, a colleague gave me two words that I use to this day: unreasonable demands. 
  
  The next time this customer came in, I simply said:
  
  "Mr. Thomas, we appreciate your business and value you as a customer. However, you are simply making unreasonable demands on our business. If you like, we will fix your motorcycle, it will be clean when you come to pick it up, and it will be free of dents and dings. But we cannot clean it daily, isolate it in a bubble or give you free repairs."
  
  "I don't want to be unreasonable; I just want my bike to be OK," he replied.
  
  So did I, Mr. Thomas. So did I.  
  

• "Help me understand ..."
  
  When someone raises a heated issue or an idea you don't totally agree with, here's a great statement. When a customer says,
  
  "This motorcycle is junk!" Screams the customer.
  
  "Help me understand why you say it's not working properly?"
  
  The customer will then start telling you more specifically what makes them think there is a problem. Plus when a customer raises a "charged" word like in this instance, "junk" it's best not to repeat that word. It has a tendency to validate the comment.
  
  Or
  
  "I think our parts special order system is stupid."
  
  "What makes you say that?" Then and only then can you start making sense of this kind of comment.
  
  
• "What this means to you is ..."
  
  In this business we like to talk tech with our customers and say things like:
  
  "This motorcycle has inverted front forks, lowering the unsprung weight."
  
  Or:
  
  "This bike has a 1200 cc engine, creating 78 foot pounds of torque."
  
  Customers will nod dutifully, and we think we are communicating. But in reality, many customers just don't want to appear ignorant about the sport. Don't keep them in the dark. Add "what this means to you" to your conversations, and you will always make a meaningful customer connection.
  
  Try this:
  
  "This motorcycle has inverted front forks, lowering the unsprung weight. What this means to you is that it helps keep the tires on the ground."
  
  Or:
  
  "This bike has a 1200 cc engine, which creates 78 foot pounds of torque. What this means to you is that the motorcycle has power you can feel."

• "Feel" – "Felt" – "Found"
  
  The earliest reference to this that I have found is Ron Willingham's Integrity Selling originally published in 1987. But the technique probably reaches back even farther. I have taught this technique in just about every workshop I've delivered since 1990. Here's how you can use it.
  
  When a customer complains about a high price, you can respond with:
  
  "I know how you feel. At one time, I too felt that the price might be high. But I found out some things that changed my mind, and they might change yours."
  
  Then elaborate.
  
  Why does "feel" - "felt" - "found" work? First, it puts you on the same side of the fence as the customers. Be honest. Don't you sometimes look at the products you sell and say to yourself, "Wow, that's a lot of money!" So, you are only being honest with the customer.
  
  Next, "felt" is past tense, showing customers that you've had a change of heart. "Found" then segues into the important reasons that justify the value, which you can then communicate to the customer.

• "What else?"
  
  This is a great question to ask when you need more information. Whether you are working with a customer, holding a year-end review with an employee or working through a brainstorming session, simply ask, "What else?" Then stop and wait for a response.
  
  The person you are working with will say something, giving you more clues about what you need to do next.

• What do you think?
  
  This is the perfect trial close. A trial close asks for the customer's opinion about the product or service you are discussing. Trial closes prove the difference between a used Yugo salesperson and a professional motorcycle salesperson.
  
  It really tests the water before you ask for the close. If you ask "Want to buy it?" too early in the process, you run the risk of offending your customer. But at almost any point during the conversation, you can say "What do you think?" And your customer will tell you.
  
  Another great aspect of this question is that there are really only two responses:  "I love it" and "I'm not sure." Either one of them should lead you to the next step in the sales process.

• "And at the same time ..."
  
  Using the word "but," has a tendency to cancel out everything you've said prior to it. For example:
  
  "You really did a great job with that sale, but you could have sold a service contract, too."
  
  "You are a smart person, but you're not very organized."
  
  If someone made one of these statements to you, you'd probably concentrate on the negative.  Instead, use the phrase, "and at the same time ...." It has the effect of keeping intact the earlier comments and then allowing you to give important feedback. For example:
  
  "You really did a great job on that sale, and at the same time we need to make sure you don't forget about selling the service contract."
  
  "You are a smart person, and at the same time you could be even better with some additional organization."
  
  Big difference, isn't it? Try it, and you'll be surprised how much it improves your communication results.
  
  
• "You would do the same ..."
  
  In every society, people are taught the law of reciprocity. You invite me to dinner, so I should invite you to dinner. You remember my birthday, so I should remember yours. You do for me; I want to do for you. It's universal.
  
  And at the same time (nice, huh?), we often fumble this golden opportunity away. Here's how reciprocity can work to everyone's advantage: Remember the last time someone thanked you for a favor, only to hear yourself respond with a casual, automatic, "Sure, no problem"? 
  
  When you did that, you lost a huge opportunity. Instead of simply saying, "No problem," try creating an exchange like this next time:
  
  Coworker: "Thank you so much for helping me out on that project."
  
  You: "No problem! I know if the situation were reversed, you would do the same for me. "
  
  You've just positioned yourself perfectly to engage in the age-old human exchange of reciprocity.

• "Will you?"
  
  A great way to help people keep their commitments or follow instructions is to use the words "will you" in front of whatever you are asking them to do.
  
  Don't say this:
  
  "When you get your customer satisfaction survey in the mail, please send it in."
  
  Try this:
  
  "When you get your customer satisfaction survey in the mail, will you please send it in?"
  
  And then wait for them to respond. Once they have responded in the affirmative, they are much more likely to keep that commitment. Why? Because they have actively, publicly and voluntarily promised to follow through, and most people want to keep commitments they have made publicly.
  

• "I really like how you ..."
  
  Everyone likes to hear compliments — and not insincere, manipulative compliments. Rather, when you are working with someone, find the things that you like about his or her work habits, and share them with that person. Compliments, when heartfelt, are the equivalent of synthetic oil for relationships. They just work better.
  
  
• "How do you do it?"
  
  Busyness seems to be an epidemic. I have not spoken to anyone over the last five years who just said they were "kind of taking it easy."
  
  When you are in a conversation and the inevitable topic of a busy lifestyle comes up, throw this question into the conversation: "How do you do it?"
  
  The rule in sales is when your customer is talking, you are selling. This is an excellent way to get them talking. Plus, I like to learn new techniques and information all the time. I know what I know; I don't know what they know.

• "Tell me more."
  
  This is another great way to get people talking. When someone gives a response to one of your previous questions or mentions a preference for something, simply say, "Tell me more." Then stop.
  
  Soon, customers will be telling you additional information that will give you insight into their needs, wants or purchasing preferences.

• "Can't" – "Can"
  
  When a customer questions the quality of a product or service you're offering, try saying this:
  
  "I can't promise you that you'll never have a problem. But I can promise you that if you do, we will be here to help."
  
  This works because you are being honest. You truly can't promise that something will never break or malfunction — especially in the motorcycle business. When you openly admit that to a customer, your credibility goes up.
  
  What you can do is ease the customer's mind and promise to be supportive. Then make sure you are. When presented like this, it's an effective and economical method. Although I can't promise you it will work every time, I can promise it will work more often than not.
   
• "Very funny."
  
  You know the comments; they're the ones that make you shudder.
  
  "Why aren't you guys open 24 hours?"
  "You guys aren't open Christmas day?"
  "Can I have 75 percent off?"
  "You know, you should have thrown in that exhaust system."
  "You don't have a dealership limo?"
  
  When you hear those sorts of outrageous questions or comments, simply reply, "Very funny." And feel free to drag out the "very." Your customer will not know how to respond.
  
  You won't get anywhere with this customer by trying to explain why you are an actual human being and that working 24 hours a day, through major holidays, and giving away everything in the store is not in your job description.

Send your thoughts to: Mark@PeakDealershipPerformance.com